The squeeze, rub technique

Summary: We can use silent, invisible signals that communicate in a positive way to our student or partner, where a hand squeeze indicates, “There’s that thing we talked about,” or “a thing we should talk about.” A back rub indicates, “I like what you did there.”

Please forgive the titillating title for this article, a full title should be The hand squeeze, back rub feedback technique. One of my Austin teachers has a handy (also, forgive the pun) way to unobtrusively give instant feedback. We talk about an issue to improve, then during our practice/test dancing they will give a quick hand squeeze whenever feeling the problem.

Studies show that for early stages of learning, positive feedback can be most helpful: “Yes, do more of that!” Then at higher and the highest levels of skill development, negative feedback, pointing out errors serve best: “Don’t do that!” Wouldn’t it be useful to have an easy way to give feedback in both directions, negative and positive?

Check or X
Now here’s an idea for practice sessions, whether teacher-student or practice partners.

  • Either partner can give the signal.
  • Hand squeeze equals, “I want to feel more comfortable,” or “I want greater clarity.”
  • Hand rub on back equals, “That felt good. I want more of that!” Or, “Nice correction.”

Then,

  • Stop, back up to the step(s) immediately preceding signal.
  • Receiver of signal tells partner what they think the partner wants more of or less of, and why.
  • Hand squeeze is used to say, “May I have a word with you?”
  • Back rub is used to say, “Yes, that’s it!”

Note, however, that the hand squeeze need not interrupt the flow. If you and your partner have already discussed an issue, the signal could say, “Yeah, I felt that thing we talked about.” This could even be applied surreptitiously at the social milonga, assuming that you and your partner have agreed that this is desirable for a particular correction.

It’s also useful to know that we already get these sorts of signals unconsciously from our partners. Pulling the hand in or up, squeezing. Rolling the head or shoulders after a dance.

Benefits:

  • Peer-to-peer
  • Two way
  • We aren’t getting blamed or corrected.
  • We are actively analyzing our own dancing.
  • We may identify issues the partner wasn’t signalling. Maybe they weren’t aware of it but you are. More benefit for the buck.

examples . . .

  • You wanted more space to pass, because you felt like you might step on me.
  • You wanted that space closed off so you wouldn’t think you should move there.
  • You wanted my embrace to slide more so that my step wouldn’t pull you off axis.

This models the best practice for good communications, first seek to understand the other and let them know you understand.

One reason we all love our Argentine tango is the opportunities it gives us for intimate, secret communications that create our dance. When we’re working on improving our dance it can feel nice, helpful, and supportive to receive intimate, secret signals that aid our awareness in a positive way.

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