Fear snares every well-intended step.
- Will I look foolish?
- What does my partner want?
- What does this mean?
- Will I hurt myself?
- Will I hurt my partner?
- Shouldn’t I already know this?
- What does my partner, what do others think of me?
Fear smothers our natural, exuberant joy of being alive. A joy that wants to burst forth and lift up everyone around us.
See the fear as a friend, one with issues. For fear is the built-in instinct that seeks to protect us from real dangers. The conflict comes when it keeps us from safely, carefully, then joyfully experiencing new things.
In your heart, or wherever you keep your fear, let it know that you know it wants to help you. Let it know that you trust your situation, even when you are unsure what or how to do something. Let it know that you want to test and expand your boundaries and abilities.
Two ideas to avoid failure from fear
Let your lungs relax!
Fear creates tension in body and mind. Fear often holds its breath, so people advise to take big breaths. We disagree. Instead, allow your breath to go where it will as your lungs peacefully relax. Allow your whole body to experience your relaxed, resting lungs. Don’t hold your breath out; don’t hold your breath in. Just allow your lungs when they want, to take in another breath, however deep or shallow they want. Don’t impose your will on your lungs. Allow them to make their gifts to you in their own time and way.
Allow yourself wondrous delight in every detail of what you see and experience.
Even your fear! Where is my fear inside me? How big is it? What does it think I need to know?
When we talk, what are the color and texture of my partner’s irises? What is the feel of my partner’s fabric under my hand? How am I experiencing the space about my partner?
Do you fear (!) that this advice will distract you from your journey? That’s right! The chattering mind that was obsessed with feeling the fear can now delight in feeling the body relax and noticing the wondrous curious sights, sounds, and feelings around it. Leaving our innate body wisdom and learning ability free to explore and grow.